"One Last Race"

Well, by the time this gets posted it will be Friday. Everyone will be pulling on race day jerseys, nerves will be sinking in and there is nothing quite like hearing “mount your Schwinn bicycles” and Straight No Chaser sing Back Home Again in Indiana as the pace laps start.

I was lucky enough to start the race for Cru Cycling last year, a position I was initially going to fill again this year. Unfortunately though, you will not see me out in the track today. I’ve been waffling back and forth all year, going between focusing solely on collegiate nationals to attempting to do both. However, the decision was removed from my hands when I ended up having a cyst removed from my wrist joint two weeks ago. The doctor said I could probably race, but it soon became clear that my wrist was not going to support me jumping on the bike and even if it did I could possibly injure it severely enough to ruin nationals. My teammates have been amazingly supportive through this whole process and I owe them more than I can quantify.

I may not be out on the track today, but I will be in the pit putting my coaching certification and race experience to use, and I could not ask for a better group of girls to coach on race day.  However, there are a lot of people who have made Little 500 what it has been for me.

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Little 500. Without it I probably never would have started riding competitively or found a place within college. Little 500 gave me friends, it gave me community and it gave me something to work for. That being said, there are a few teams who deserve more than just a general thanks from me:

Thank you so much to Wing It Cycling for helping me to fall in love with riding, thank you for your support and friendship my freshman year. I had so much fun racing that year and the top ten finish is something I still cherish today.  Tom, you remain one of the most influential people on my cycling career and I owe you more than I could ever repay in terms of knowledge and support.

Thank you to Cru Cycling for taking me in and helping me renew my faith. Thank you for walking with me during my long months of physical therapy for my knee and thank you for continuing that journey with me for three years. I could not ask for a better group of women to call teammates.

Thank you to Melanzana for letting us into your team and life these past years. In particular I owe Dana, Christine and Rose for your kindness. I can't express how awesome it is to see how much our teams have grown stronger because of each other. 

Thank you to all the riders, men and women, who became my friends. I have had more fun on the track in the last few months than I can ever hope to have again. I love watching the friendships that form on the track between people of all different skill levels. They say Little 500 is the great equalizer and I could not agree more in terms of the connections it creates.

To those of you who are not graduating this year, cherish these months. It’s hard work, and sometimes it seems like it is not worth it, but I would not give up my four years on the track for anything. Support your teammates, and know that they would travel through hell and back again for you. In turn, encourage the teams around you. Little 500 may pit you against each other but some of my best moments in college have been because of other teams and the friends I made during track practice.

I guess what I am trying to say in the end, is thank you. Today was the last day at the track and as I looked around I realized how much of myself I discovered because of Little 500, and how far I had come from that scared freshman during rookie week. 

See you on race day and Godspeed.

Regionals Race Report and Conference Wrap Up

Regionals Race Report

Saturday's road race at Purdue was the perfect course for me. Finishing with a “gradual turning steep at the top” climb was right in my comfort zone and I was hungry for a top ten finish. Tactically, it was one of the better races I have done. With four off the front in the first lap, the pack settled in for forty miles of wind and hills on the first lap. The wide open course made hiding challenging at best and a tricky descent in the backside sent alarm bells ringing in my head. Four laps later as we came up to the final climb I knew that I had to gauge my moment, if I went too soon I would just pull the pack with me. Waiting has to be the hardest thing to do but as we came over the top I fought through for 8^th (4^th in the field finish).

Saturday night I had the privilege of representing IU at the annual conference meeting. It was really nice to have people, including the conference directors, coming up and telling me that this was the most they had seen of IU in years. I think it speaks volumes of the efforts of members to sacrifice Little 500 participation in order to go to Utah.

Sunday was a very flat, awkwardly windy course through downtown South Bend. Because of the buildings you never knew quite where the wind was going to hit. Within the first fifteen minutes Ashley James and Kaitie Antonneau were off the front, leaving the field to fight for third. I was struggling at first with the turns but then something clicked. It was as if everything I have been reading as well as the advice of friends and my coach to be more aggressive and maybe do a little less work had finally sunk in and the last half of the race I felt as if I were flying. As the final three laps started Marian formed a train for Coryn and I saw my chance, sneaking onto the back wheel with two Lindenwood girls as well as a few others. They hammered it along the backstretch and as I glanced back to make sure that I didn’t get boxed in, I realized that the field was no longer with us and I was fighting for top ten. I barely passed a few girls at the line, but came in tenth, my second top ten of the weekend and of the season.

“You can count on this, I’m only getting better”

Conference Wrap Up

2012 Conference 8^th Nationals 10^th

2011 Conference 6^th Nationals 6^th

2010 Conference 7^th Nationals 8^th

The above is the placing of Indiana University Cycling the past couple of years that results are available at the MWCCC website. This year we went 4th in the conference and 3^rd in the nationals qualifying rankings. We were the first ranked non-varsity program and while we still have a ways to go, this was huge progress.

In three weeks Melissa, Graham, RJ, Austin, Paul, Turner and I will be competing at the highest level for collegiate cycling in Ogden, Utah and I could not be more excited.

Going to nationals this year has been my personal goal since the end of development camp in August. I have worked towards this goal with steadfast confidence since then, dealing with doubters and taking setbacks in stride. Our team as a whole came together in the fall with the overarching goal being nationals. We have been told that it wasn’t worth it, that we were stupid to even try because we weren’t going to win, and that there was no way we could hope to hold our own against two varsity programs (not to mention how dare we do anything other than Little 500).  Everyone took this and let it fuel them, focused on the goal of competing as a team throughout the spring and qualifying for nationals. It is safe to say we accomplished that goal with flying colors.

You have to start somewhere. Three of us will be returning from Ogden for racing next year and this experience will only make us stronger. If you never try for fear of losing then what is the point of racing your bike? It is like going through your entire racing career in the pack and never attacking. Pointless.

This year was not necessarily what we expected. We got pummeled at races, overwhelmed by larger, more organized teams. We stayed at friend’s houses, drove our own cars up, and covered many of the expenses individually, dealing with the issues that come with not being a varsity program such as limited funding and little support. However, we did find support within the Bloomington cycling community and for that I am eternally grateful.

To everyone who said we could do it, who cheered us on, thank you. To organizations that sponsored IU Club Cycling, such as IUSF,  Rec Sports, GU and the Rudy Project, thank you, we would not be headed to Ogden without you.

I don’t expect to win at nationals, in case that wasn’t clear. Honestly, I don’t even know what my expectations are. I hope to be of some assistance to my teammates, and I hope to gain experience that will be of use to the women’s team next year with Emma continuing in the A field and others looking to upgrade.

To my teammates, both men and women thank you for going through this with me. Thank you for showing up to races with an amazing attitude and the realization that we were all in it together. Thank you for making it fun, and thank you for being the inspiration I sometimes needed.

To my competitors, thank you for being so gracious. Thank you for giving me pointers, for your coaches that gave me advice, and for your friendships that I have appreciated over the past few weeks, especially at the races that I was by myself for. Thank you for housing me, thank you for your words of encouragement when things got tough. Thank you for letting me into your twitter conversations and musings. Most of all, thank you for letting me play bikes with you.

See you in Ogden. 

My parents came to watch the road race!

Some of the best ladies in the world to race with. Can't believe I won't see them every weekend anymore.

Marian/ Little 500 ITTs/ MSU/ Michigan

Wow. Okay, so clearly a lot has happened since I last updated this, so bear with me.

Remember that big snowstorm after the Lindenwood race? Well, long story short I fell walking on the ice and broke my tailbone. Sad to say it is all downhill from here.

Marian was five days after the tailbone incident and the last thing I wanted to do was sit on a bike for not one, but two criteriums. However, I was already registered and I would have to be on my deathbed not to race a bike (especially after racing with a concussion/whiplash last summer after the wreck at camp).

Saturday morning rolled around, my alarm didn't go off and when I got to the race site I locked myself and Ashton out of the car for what is the second time this season. The day racing was a lot of fun though, it was a cool course with a wicked fast technical portion through the campus. The collegiate race proved to be a good learning experience, and massive thanks to Ivy from Marian for giving me some tips on how to handle the turns. I felt really comfortable throughout the entire race, which was a nice change from my usual inner panic. As is my problem though, I put in too much work and popped off the back with two to go. I got in with a small group off the back and was able to break away in the final run through thee technical portion and fly to the finish line for 18th place. Not my best, but in the points.

The afternoon was a very different kind of racing, the cat and mouse "I'm not going to pull, but I'm not going to let anyone get away" which I HATE. I finished with the pack after finding myself in horrid positioning coming into the technical portion of the last lap, and having to work from the back of the pack for the sprint.

Moving on.

Monday I had a doctor's appointment with an orthopedic surgeon to look at my wrist which had been aching and swelling the past week. Lucky me, I had developed a cyst inside the joint. Fortunately they were able to take care of it that morning and the recovery period is only supposed to be two weeks. I spent an hour with needles and the like in my wrist but was patched up, sent on my way and went for a ride that afternoon (granted that ride involved only one hand, but still).

The injured wrist without the hard brace on.

Wednesday was ITTs for Little 500 and at this point my wrist was still causing a fair amount of pain and I was concerned about my ability to control the bike as well as get up to speed with only limited ability of my second hand. It hurt, but I got 14th out of 133 girls with only one hand in the drops. All I heard afterwards was "You looked like you were in pain".

My name on the board (that lasted about ten minutes).

Okay, so now about this past weekend of racing.

Ouch.

The road race consisted of half gravel/half paved roads for a grueling 42 miles. I knew my wrist was going to be a factor and that thinking was proved right when we hit the first gravel section. I found myself 30 seconds off the pack with Stephanie (Marian). We soon caught three others which dropped to Stephanie and I and then grew to four again going into the second lap. At this point I knew there was no power in the universe that was going to get me to the pack and I found myself on the wrong side of a shattered group. Between the gravel section and the 20+ mph winds on the paved roads I ended up doing the last three laps by myself in no man's land with the pack in sight and two girls a minute or so behind me the entire time. However, many thanks to the Men's A fields for the words of encouragement as they passed me on lap 4.

Gravel, dirt, dust, sand you name it, we raced through it on Saturday.

The ITT that afternoon was equally painful with the wind, a firetruck and a brush fire all adding to the frustration. I got 15th in both events.

I stayed the night with Tessa from University of Michigan and it was fun to talk about boys, bikes and eating gluten free. It was nice not to stay in a hotel, and many thanks to her for being willing to house a competitor.

The Crit the next days was a very fun course with sweeping turns, a tailwind up a small rise and a massive headwind into the finish. Right off the bat Coryn, Ivy and a few others from Marian/Lindenwood were off the front. I found myself, as usual, in the main pack doing way too much work on the front. Field sprint for 14th. After the fact that statement about me doing too much work was repeated multiple times from multiple people that I have a lot of respect for. I know that tactically it is not the best move since I am often without teammates, but I also still have this bug in my brain about doing work in criteriums. For me part of racing is doing work and driving yourself into the ground. It's how I learn, it's how I get better and sucking wheel all day just to pop out for a field sprint just seems wrong.

The A Women NOT on a varsity team.

Regardless it has become clear that my tactics need some work...so the coach assigned a little homework. I'm supposed to read it, memorize it, practice it and repeat. No pressure. At the end of the day though, it was a very stressful car ride home between talking to my coach and then also with the doctor about my wrist and I was an emotional wreck by the time I got back to Bloomington. Frustrated with my consistent "just out of top ten" results as well as worried about my ability to continue riding, I ended up going straight to my parent's and curling up on the couch for an hour. Tomorrow is another day, another week of workouts and another chance to get it right.

Homework.

When Finishing is an Accomplishment: Lindenwood

This weekend's race was one for the books. The Midwest conference headed out to St. Louis for the Lindenwood race weekend, which was designated a dual-conference meet with the NCCC. With Little 500 Qualifications and Hillsboro-Roubaix the same weekend I was the only IU cyclist headed out and as much as I missed my teammates it was nice to just chill on my own schedule the entire weekend.

Since I got to St. Louis early I was able to do a short spin on the road race course and head up the first climb, running into a few guys from DePaul who let me tag along. Knowing that this was one of three difficult climbs every lap of the course (with three laps for the women's A field) I had fair warning that the road race was going to be a tough one, especially with the trio of Ashley (Lindenwood), Katie and Coryn (Marian) driving the pace.

Made a sight seeing stop to the top of a nuclear waste/superfund site. Didn't know that's what it was until I was on top.

The real reason I like travelling for races.

With no need to do a TTT I rolled into the Daniel Boone site a couple hours before my race in time to watch the women's B/C/Intro, Men's D and C fields head off and come in. It was again clear that the course was going to be difficult as they rolled through the finish in small groups or alone.

Start of the Women's B/C/Intro race.

The first five miles or so were relaxed, with everyone chatting and settling in. I was fortunate with my positon right behind Coryn as we went into the climb and the hammer dropped. As we started to climb I did my best to stay on her wheel, knowing that this was where the pack would be split. I made it to the top with the main group but couldn't hold it and watched those three ride off with another small group a little ways behind them. Looking behind me it was clear that the pack was completely shattered, and we were only 7 miles or so into 62 for the day.

I rode solo through the descent before dropping back to a group of four that included Stephanie and Emily (Marian), though Emily and I soon dropped them and headed off the two of us. By the time the second lap came around we had caught Marisol (Lindenwood) and Hannah (Lindsey Wilson). Coming back to the first climb on the second lap we caught Allie (Marian) who had suffered a flat tire. This whole time the small group ahead of us was within sight, but just out of reach as the wind picked up and the climbs every few miles began to take a toll. We had agreed to keep it easy on the climbs and so finished the second lap as a group, though we lost Allie to another flat in the process.

The third lap rolled around and we still had the small group ahead of us in sight along the curving roads and hills. Coming out of the first climb Marisol, Emily and I dropped Hannah and continued forward. At this point it was clear that the wind was killing us, even my usual chatter had dropped to a minimum. We were passed by two guys on Lindenwood who had a crazy gap on the Men's A field. Coming out of the final turn I pushed it up a small rise, dropping Marisol but not Emily. She had a better sprint and I made a few stupid moves coming into the final minor downhill and the sprint where I finished just behind her.

I'm at the point now, where strategically I know generally where I need to be (though still have to work on sprinting), but physically can't do it. It is frustrating to watch wheels just roll away, but I am throughly happy with the fact that I did not give up.

Looking at the finishing reports, the wind, length and climbing took a severe toll on all the fields that had to do more than one lap. 60% of the men's A field did not finish, 50% of the men's B, 40% of the men's C, and 36% of the women's A. People always says that the Lindsey Wilson race is the worst, but honestly this one takes the cake. I ended up 12th out of the 25 women that started the day.

Unfortunately that wind also brought in a severe weather front, which cancelled the crit.

Snowy and stressful drive home.

"I Miss My Tennessee Home"

"I miss my Tennessee home, I've been away way too long"
-Brad Paisley, Southern Comfort Zone

Spring Break started this last weekend, and the timing was perfect with a few weekends off from collegiate racing. I was lucky enough to head down to Chattanooga, Tennessee for four days of warmer weather, mountains, and riding with some old friends. This marked the third time I have been down to Tennessee for training, and it is quickly becoming one of my favorite places in the world. 

We got to Chattanooga late Thursday night, driving up the backside of the Suck Creek climb. The cabin we were staying in was something else, the decor was for sure interesting, but it was right on the river and close to some good climbing. Friday was sunny and after a quick trip to Whole Foods and the Trek store I found myself out on a winding road that followed the river with Mark (my coach) and my dad. It was fun to hear about the history of the area, and while the road had no massive climbs we were either going up or going down the entire time.

The Indian in the cabin.... just weird. 

Saturday dawned bright and early, we met up with Mark as well as a few new people and headed up the mountain to the valley on the other side. I started out with a five minute power test on the first climb, and then spent the second climb mostly by myself as everyone spread out to climb at their own pace. The scenery was gorgeous, with the blues and greens of the mountains really standing out in comparison to the dull grey we had left in Indiana. I was tired by the end of the first day, but not dead yet.

Looking up Suck Creek

Sunday, Kym (development camp coach and a close friend/mentor) was back in town and so we were able to meet up with her and Mark northeast of town for one of her favorite road rides. She had just done an epic mountain bike/ road bike race the day before and so was taking it easy on me, which was much appreciated. I managed to stay with her up the first climb, though I was outside of my planned zones for the day (whoops). It was a windy and long day in the saddle with another climb at the end, and a descent straight to the car. It was great to catch up with Kym though and hear from her about her doctorate program as well as get her advice on tons of things dealing with coaching, and racing from a woman's point of view. I am truly lucky to have her and Mark in my life.

The view from outside our cabin.

That night everyone came over for dinner at our cabin, and it was nice to catch up off the bike, as well as give my mom a chance to meet both Kym and Mark. It was a great way to cap off a long weekend, especially since the next morning was only supposed to be a short easy ride in the area, and there was a possibility of that being done in the rain.

I made friends with the lizards at the cabin...

Looking back on the weekend I am really happy with how it went. I feel like I really got the chance to push myself on the climbs, as well as just reset my mental health with the warmer weather. This showed, with my power test numbers containing new peak power records for the 5min and 4min marks (yay!). It is still going to be awhile before it gets warmer here, but at the very least it was nice to take a break and just focus on riding (and homework at night). 

Probably the best moment though, was when I was getting ready to drive back to my apartment from my parents' house. My dad and I had been talking about where I could go as far as cycling is concerned, and we had pretty much wrapped up the conversation as I got into the car. My dad said bye and then hesitated before he said "I'm proud of you, keep it up and you will get there". My dad very rarely says these things and so when he does it really means so much to me.

My response?

"I won't, I've come too far to give up now."

Anything Can Happen (Depauw Race Report)

This weekend was a little insane. The weather was crazy and there were highs and lows all around. With the race being only an hour and a half away we were able to stay in Bloomington, in our own beds, at night which was a wonderful luxury.

Saturday had us leaving town at 6:30 to make it to the road race course in time for the start of the women's B race and men's C. A wreck in the men's D race had delayed the day and the snow and cold was creating miserable conditions. Being the idiot that I am I managed to lock the keys inside the car, causing some problems for Ashton and Andy, the two B and C racers who had ridden up with us. Fortunately everyone got out on the course more or less comfortably. The Cutters were very graceful in letting me hide out in their car while a race between the Sheriff, AAA and my parents occurred to see who would get there to unlock it first. Seriously, I owe that team cookies or something.

The IU Women were well represented in the B race, with Aryn (ChiO) coming in second, Ashton (SIBH/Teter) in fourth and Rachel and Kate (Theta) finishing somewhere around 10th (I think). The Men's C race saw Cameron (SIBH/AEP) and Aaron Starkston (DU) coming in the top five.

The women's B race coming through on their second(?) lap.

Fortunately AAA arrived with 1.5 hours to start time and Emma (SIBH/Teter) and I were able to kit up and do a couple down and backs on the road before joining the entirety of the A men and women in the firehouse to stay warm until the last possible moment. As the pack headed out I knew we were graced by Cyclocross World's competitor (US Collegiate National Crit Champion) Kaitie Antonneau as well as the usual teams of Marian and Lindenwood. IU was vastly outnumbered and the lack of large hills meant attacks flying every few minutes. A break of Ashley James (Lindenwood) and another Marian rider escaped off the front, leaving the pack to fight for third. My teammate Melissa (Riley/Wing It) was showing her strength on the front, helping to chase breaks as well as attack. I would like to think I was doing the same though it has become clear to me that I still have a ways to go to comfortably maneuver in the pack. Emma was able to hide well in the pack, and as we came up to the finish line all three IU girls were able to place in the top 15. Melissa went one better than that and came out with an 8th place finish following a fairly sketchy sprint.

The IU men had mechanicals and issues with the cold as well, with Paul Smith (Motion/Delts) finishing somewhere in the top twenty.

The cold and snow took a toll on everyone's mental stamina and so the TTT saw Ashton, Melissa and I duking it out against four person Marian and Lindenwood teams (two TTT teams for each program). Despite cold conditions and a strong headwind on the way back to the finish we were able to claw our way to a 3rd place finish, out of five. The guys team faced similar struggles and managed a 5th place finish. A huge shout out to my teammate Ashton for dragging herself through the cold, and to Melissa for pulling when neither Ashton nor I could manage in the last half mile. Seriously both were beasts (I mean that in a nice way).

Snow at the start of the TTT 

As a team we headed for dinner (at a place I will not name), and it was nice to relax somewhere warm and let the stress and cold from the day melt away (as well as the snow)! The next morning saw a slightly more civil wakeup hour of 7:30, with us arriving for Ashton's Crit on time (no keys getting locked in the car today). The sun was out and there was no snow, providing warmer conditions than the day before. Ashton did wonderfully, finishing a strong third in her race.

Ashton's Third Place Finish

The women's A race started much better for me this week. Anticipating the fast start helped a lot and although I was not able to make the jump to the winning break I was able to help chase back a few moves, though Melissa was clearly the stronger IU girl in the race. Again, my timidness in the pack put me in some badly blocked positions when I needed to be able to chase girls down, but it was a learning experience. I finished with the main pack, nabbing an 11th place with Melissa taking 8th again!

Drew (SIBH/Sig Ep) enjoying the Men's A race from his makeshift recliner

The IU men worked hard to get something together but in the end did not make either of the breakaways, with bridging attempts coming from Paul, Turner (Theta Chi), John Becker (Motion/ Theta Chi), and Kevin Depasse (Nuvo/ Cutters). Kevin took the field sprint and 8th overall. Alex from Wisconsin rode a wonderful race, and was clearly a crowd favorite as he came through for 6th? and Lindenwood did well, taking 1st and 3rd. Other IU guys in the top 20 included Paul (12th), Turner (16th) and Charlie McClary(19th).

The escape from the chase group for Wisconsin

Walking Away?

Getting back from Lindsey Wilson this past weekend was a bit hectic, it took me forever to sort through the odds and ends left in my car (I had two extra bikes, a helmet and a heart rate monitor that were not mine). On top of this was the shock of coming back to the "real world". Monday packed a punch with midterms and as happy as I was to start the racing season the timing with school has been less than ideal.

The explosion of my room after the race. 

Not only was school causing stress but the weather has been rotten too. My intervals on Wednesday were spent entirely in the snow and all of this frustration both on and off the bike was beginning to pile up. And then there was Little 500. It is nearing the point where I am going to have to make a decision about my training for Little 500 and it is not an easy thing.

It is because of Little 500 that I started riding, it is because of Little 500 that I have self confidence, it is because of Little 500 that I met seven amazing women who have changed my life and strengthened my faith.

And yet here I am, dreading getting back on the track.

I have stopped enjoying it, stopped wanting to work for it, stopped pushing my teammates to work for it. And that's the thing, Little 500 deserves more than that. I may have all the fitness in the world and my team may have the ability to compete for a top place on the podium, but if I am not willing to let it consume me, then I should not be doing it.

Collegiate cycling has always been an amazing experience for me, and the opportunity to go to nationals (individually or with a team) is something that I do not want to just throw away. On top of this I know that if I train on the track too much I will burn out quickly and the speed and power will not be there on the road.

So, decision time.

All of this (school, riding and decisions) had me seeking out advice from Kym and Mark, both for validation in my choices and advice from people who had been there. A big concern was how I was going to continue to line up against girls who are so far out of my league in the collegiate races.

Kym had some very applicable advice, focusing on the fact that I am just jumping into this level. Now is the time to learn as much as possible, using this information to my benefit both when racing against them and later in the regular season when they are not there. In the end just because I know they will likely beat me doesn't mean that I should just roll over.

"You are probably going to win, but I'm going to make you chase me first."

In dealing with the Little 500 decision, well there is no easy answer but Mark put it pretty simply. If you aren't going to wake up in the morning and be completely dedicated to something, you shouldn't be doing it. Fortunately I have a wonderful team around me who will support me either way I go and I will continue to help coach and lead them, which makes the decision a little less stressful.

So I guess the question is, when I wake up in the morning, what gets me out of bed? Road racing or Little 500?

The Little 500 Track Wednesday night.

Also been working on my cooking: lemon/parmesan asparagus, baked potato, steak with sautéed peppers.